I just gave myself a mental slap in the face for not writing about It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia earlier. I guess I just assumed that I had written about it because I love it and talk about it so much. Anywho. This show has to be one of the most well written comedy shows ever… and I’m not exaggerating. I mean, who doesn’t like to follow the lives of four narcissistic almost thirty year olds with sociopathic tendencies running a bar in Philly? Seriously.

Let me set the mood with some character descriptions (taken from Wikipedia and followed by my input):

Charlie Day as Charlie Kelly: Charlie is a childhood friend of Mac and a co-owner of Paddy’s. He is a volatile loser who lives in filth and displays little ability to cope with day-to-day problems. Throughout the show, Charlie shows signs of several learning disabilities, including dyslexia, and is often accused of being “retarded” by other characters. All of the most tedious and disgusting tasks at the bar are called “Charlie Work”, even when he is temporarily spared from performing them. He tends to squander the little money he earns from the bar on “bad investments”. He has an extremely short fuse and is prone to Al Pacino-styled outbursts. Mac and Dennis frequently manipulate him into tests of his fortitude, and consider him to be almost impossible to injure. Charlie has no success in dating, and harbors an unrequited crush on a cafe waitress. Despite his apparent lack of intelligence, Charlie is the most skilled musician in the group and has concocted elaborate plans to achieve his desires. He spent the majority of his life without a father figure until the finale episode of season two, when he learned that Frank Reynolds is his biological father.

Charlie is pretty much my all-around favorite character on the show. I’m not sure if it’s his written character specifically or a combination of that and Charlie Day as an actor. Either way, Charlie makes me happy every single time I watch the show, whether he is dancing around with a family of inbreds dressed as “Green Man” while high on acid that Frank slipped into his beer or making comments about getting drunk and playing video games until his eyes bleed. Either way, he always brings a lighthearted comedy into the mix.

Some quotes:

Charlie [singing]: I’m gonna rise up, gonna kick a little ass, gonna kick some ass in the USA. Gonna climb a mountain, gonna sew a flag, gonna fly on an eagle. I’m gonna kick some butt, I’m gonna drive a big truck, I’m gonna rule this world, I’m gonna kick some ass, I’m gonna rise up, I’m gonna kick a little ass. ROCK, FLAG, AND EAGLE.

Mac: Do you represent the Lollipop Guild, Charlie?

Charlie: Why don’t I strap on my job helmet, and squeeze into a job cannon, and fire off to jobland, where jobs grow on jobbies!

Kaitlin Olson as Diandra “Sweet Dee” Reynolds: Dee is Dennis’s twin sister and a bartender at Paddy’s. She dropped out of Penn to become an actress, but has put little effort into realizing her ambition. She is highly sensitive about her appearance and her professional failings. She was unpopular in high school due to her severe scoliosis, which forced her to wear a back brace and earned her the nickname “The Aluminum Monster”. Since high school, she has had a long string of failed relationships. Like the other members of the gang, she drinks heavily, especially to calm herself after meeting an attractive man. Dee also harbors an intense fear of the elderly. Despite her many insecurities, Dee is aggressively outspoken and prone to violence when angered.

Sweet Dee is in a tight running with Charlie for my favorite character. Kaitlin Olson is absolutely hilarious and has amazing comedic timing. Plus, she’s the only female in the bunch, which gives her a sweet edge. And to top it off, she thinks she’s a better person than all of the guys, which is incredibly untrue. She’s just as crappy of a person as the rest of them; however, she tends to call the gang out when they’re being shitty people, which is always necessary and incredibly ineffective.

Some quotes:

Frank: There is nothing more threatening to a man than a woman who is smart and attractive. We have to pretend you’re both!
Sweet Dee: Wow, you’re a horrible father.

Dennis: I don’t get it Dee, there are tons of women in this city, where do they go?
Sweet Dee: They’re at velvet rope clubs on Delaware Avenue.
Dennis: Why?
Sweet Dee: Dennis, our bar is south Philly in a scary alley… might as well call it “Rape Bar.”

Frank: I did not go to Vietnam and watch a lot of good men die just for scum like you to take away my freedom!
Sweet Dee: You went to Vietnam in 1993… to open up a sweatshop!
Frank: …and a lot of good men died in that sweatshop!

Glenn Howerton as Dennis Reynolds: Dennis is Dee’s twin brother, co-owner of Paddy’s, and roommates with Mac. He is a vain, self-absorbed preppy and lady’s man. Dennis’s self-esteem is derived chiefly from his appearance, and takes criticism of his looks very poorly. A running joke throughout season three had Dennis constantly removing his shirt to display his physique. Dennis was popular in high school, but his prom date dumped him for another man. Despite making less than $400 a week from the bar, Dennis wears stylish clothing and drives a Land Rover due to his family’s wealth. He received good grades at the University of Pennsylvania and minored in psychology, though his original ambition was to become a veterinarian. He listens to glam rock and Rick Astley.

Dennis has to be the most self-involved character of the entire gang, all of which revolves around what he thinks is his chiseled physique. I mean, this is a man that isn’t upset that he looks like a registered sex offender but rather upset because the sex offender is a little more weighty than him. His entire life revolves around his looks, getting laid, and using his looks to get laid. In a comedy, however, this single-mindedness can be a brilliant thing. Did I mention he’s also incredibly chauvinistic?

Some quotes:

Dennis: I hate listening to people’s dreams. It is like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I’m not in any of them and nobody is having sex, I just don’t care.

Sweet Dee: Are you actually going to throw away all of your convictions for a chance to get laid?
Dennis: I don’t really have any convictions.

Dennis: Dee, you scared the shit out of me. What are you doing?
Sweet Dee: Same thing you’re doing. I’m not letting dad give all this shit to poor people.
Dennis: Alright, hey I got here first though. I’m taking the plasma TV and I’m taking the fish tank.
Sweet Dee: How come you get to pick and choose?
Dennis: It’s not that I get to pick and choose, it’s that I’m a man and I’m strong. I can carry heavy things. You’re a woman, you’re weak and… you can’t.
Sweet Dee: You’re a woman and you’re weak.
Dennis: That doesn’t make any sense.
Sweet Dee: You don’t make any sense.

Rob McElhenney as Mac: Mac is a childhood friend of Charlie’s and the roommate of Dennis, whom he has known since high school. He is co-owner of the Paddy’s and generally the pub’s most active manager. He comes from a broken home, as his father was an incarcerated drug dealer, and he sold drugs to popular students in high school to gain their friendship. Mac constantly seeks the acceptance of others, especially his parents, but he is generally considered to be an “asshole” by others. Mac also makes frequent attempts to become “hard”, usually to impress his criminal father, but he generally flees from confrontation and fares poorly in fights. Mac is Catholic and the only member of the group to profess a religious faith, but this has done little to affect his general lack of ethics.

Mac lacks a little less punch than the rest of the gang. I’m not sure if it’s because he’s the show’s creator, producer, writer, (along with Rob and Charlie), and occasional director and therefore doesn’t want to outshine the rest of the cast or what, but even still, he’s a good addition to the show. Mac tends to be the silent instigator, leading the gang into many of their troubles, while making other cast members feel like the ideas were their own.

Some quotes:

Mac: Let me just go grab my cash from my money tree
Dennis: Hang on a second, I know a leprechaun who has a pot of gold, you see he lives at the end of my street
Charlie: Maybe I’ll go to a bank and say “hello, do I have an account here?”

Mac: Looking for that new hotspot to spot that stud? Well Paddy’s Irish Pub has plugged that hole.

Mac: Look everybody, Sweet Dee’s here!
[Sweet Dee enters with Jannel]
Sweet Dee: Hey, everybody!
Charlie: [to Janell] Whoa, whoa, what’re you doing here?!
Janell: Charlie?
Dennis: Whoa, whoa, what is going on here? You two know each other?
Charlie: Yeah, yeah, that’s the crazy bitch that punched me in my eye!
Terrell: Charlie! That’s my sister!
Mac: Now, just to clarify, when you say “sister,” you mean–
Terrell: I mean my sister!
Mac: Yes! Okay, this is great! Because earlier, you were implying that I was racist because you thought I was implying that all black people are related, and then it turns out that you people actually are!

Danny DeVito as Frank Reynolds: Frank is the legal father of Dennis and Dee, as well as the biological father of Charlie. Frank is a successful businessman and has a long history of shady business endeavors. He was introduced in the first episode of the second season undergoing a midlife crisis. He divorced Dennis and Dee’s mother and decided to to join in his children’s lazy, scheming lifestyle. Frank became co-owner of Paddy’s by purchasing land underneath it, and used this leverage to forcibly join the gang. Frank is a master manipulator and frequently takes the lead in the gang’s schemes. Frank knows many sordid characters around town, including a ring of Asian gamblers, whom the gang finds creepy. He claims to have his children’s best interests at heart, but frequently exploits and insults them. Frank is shocked and disgusted to learn that Dee and Dennis are not his biological offspring, while Charlie is.

I cannot say enough about Danny DeVito playing Frank. He’s brilliant. He’s amazing. He’s absolutely perfect. Frank has to be the crappiest of the lot. He absolutely doesn’t care about anybody but himself and making a quick buck, no matter who he has to step on to do so. He’s also perfectly happy living like a slob with Charlie in a small, dank, disgusting studio apartment. He’s (somewhat) lived the adult life, and now he’s perfectly happy being a crappy young person again.

Some quotes:

Frank: The slaves are gone. They were bringing me down.

Charlie: Did you send him a friend request?
Frank: I don’t wanna be his friend, I wanna shoot him in the face!

Frank: This is going to be exactly like Woodstock.
Sweet Dee: Oh is it? Oo, are you planning on getting yourself locked in the bathroom of your cousin’s Winnebego for three days?
Frank: Shut up about that! I survived on hand soap and toilet water for three days. The memory haunts me.

Charlie: You can’t just torture someone because you think they’re guilty.
Frank: Oh, don’t give me that liberal bullshit!

Needless to say, this is not exactly the television show for the easily offended (the show deals with a variety of controversial topics, including racism, politics, terrorism, homosexuality, gun control, sexism, slavery, religion, pedophilia, underage drinking, welfare, abortion, etc.). However, if you have a sense of humor (and I mean a good one), then you must watch this show. In fact, you might as well just go ahead and buy all three seasons. This is a purchase I can guarantee you won’t regret.

Some of my favorite episodes are:

Dennis and Dee Go On Welfare
Hundred Dollar Baby
Charlie Gets Cripples
The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby
The Gang Gets Invincible
Frank Sets Sweet Dee On Fire
Dee Is Dating A Retarded Person
Dennis Looks Like A Registered Sex Offender
Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody’s Ass